Lester's Advice
by Cehsja
Summary: Not sure where else to turn, Abby finds herself on Lester's doorstep seeking his advice about Connor. Oneshot set after ep 3.2. Conby


Abby stared up at the brick flat and wondered vaguely what on earth had possessed her to think this was a good idea. Oh, right, it's been Jenny in her own roundabout way. Of course Jenny had no idea what she'd triggered when she'd asked that simple question. _Are you going to take your own advice?_

And really, why should she? Why should she, Abby Maitland, take her own advice when it came to men? So far she had held a pretty lousy track record with them, so obviously she was doing _something _wrong. To make matters worse she'd even assumed she'd known enough to offer Jenny advice. Ha! What a joke that was! She should be the one receiving advice.

Only she couldn't ask Jenny. Jenny wasn't much better off than she was. She'd been engaged to someone who didn't love her and had a crush on someone who drove her crazy and thought she was someone else. No, Jenny was definitely out of the question. If Abby was going to get advice, she wanted it to be from someone who actually knew what they were doing.

Nick Cutter was even more out of the question with Jenny. The girl he married was insane, the one he loved didn't exist, unless she was Jenny and that was a big 'if'. Connor was a no-go as well. The only girlfriend he'd ever had had been paid to date him and besides, this was all about him really, wasn't it? He was the last person she could talk to.

She'd thought about Becker or Sarah, but neither of them were in a proper relationship, so what did they know about it? Nothing. They'd be like her, offering up advice that they had no idea if it really worked or not.

She was at her last resource and she could think of so many ways that this could go wrong as she pressed down on the door intercom, but she was desperate enough to take the risk.

The intercom cackled into life and Abby smiled at the familiar voice. "Didn't order any, don't want any, not giving any. Go away."

She pressed it again, "Lester, it's Abby."

She heard a muttered curse. "If it's work related, this will wait until tomorrow, Abby. If it's not, I'm not interested."

"Please, Lester, let me in."

There was no response, but the green light went on, indicating the door had been unlocked. Well that was easier than expected, she thought to herself.

She found his flat easily enough and rapped on the door. Lester opened it, glaring at her as she pushed past him and inside. "Wow, this place is well nice," she commented appreciatively, hoping to put him in a good mood.

"You know, you're actually the last person I want here at the moment," Lester informed her. "Because as soon as I heard it was you, I knew you'd be stubborn enough to not stop pushing that blasted button until I let you in. What the bloody hell are you doing here?"

Abby took a deep breath. This was it, it was now or never. "I, uh, I need to talk to you about something. I need your advice on how to get Connor to notice me."

Lester's jaw actually dropped and Abby wasn't sure she'd ever seen the man looked shocked before. "You what? Is this a bloody joke?"

Abby shook her head, "Please. You're the only person I know who has made a long term relationship work for you. I love how you talk about your wife and kids like they're even more important than your job to you. I want that!"

"You can't ask someone else?" Lester protested. "Anyone? Here, I've got a contact list on my fridge. Try Sarah, I'll even let you use my phone just so long as you promise to leave as soon as you're done the call."

"What does Sarah know? She's not in a long term relationship. How does she know what works?"

Lester sighed. "As flattering as this is, Abby, I'm sure I'm _not _the person you should be talking to."

"But…" she stopped and thought about it for a moment and then nodded, "I'll tell you what. You give me advice and I'll show up on time to work all next week."

"What a good deal."

"A month?"

Lester sighed, "Fine, fine sit down. Make yourself at home, why don't you. Tea? I put a cup on earlier but you can have it, I think I'll be having whiskey myself."

Abby grinned as she plopped herself down at the kitchen table, eager to hear what he had to say. Lester glanced at her as he put the kettle on to make a larger pot of tea, wondering if he could actually get away with drinking the whiskey he'd been joking about. She must be pretty desperate to have come to him, he thought. What the hell was he going to tell her? He watched as she absentmindedly fiddled with the sugar bowl on the table. It was actually sweet, flattering really that she was here. Smart too, he supposed. He'd always wondered about kids nowadays, taking advice from their peers instead of their elders. How were they supposed to learn from someone who was at the same stage of life that they were? But still, of all people on the planet she'd come to _him? _

And to think it'd been just yesterday that he'd proudly commended himself for avoiding the first crush questions of his oldest daughter, thirteen-year-old Katie, by passing her off to his wife. Hmm, he wondered vaguely if he could pass Abby onto the Mrs. Lester too? It was definitely a thought worth pursuing.

"You know," he said gingerly as he set the tea in front of her, "If you feel more comfortable talking to a woman I could call my wife. She's at the country house with the kids but I'm sure she'd love to talk with you. Obviously she's been in a relationship for precisely the same amount of time as I've been."

Abby waved him off, "Oh, no, that's fine. I'm sure she'd busy and I don't want to bother her. Anyway, I feel better talking to someone I know and as a man, you can tell me what Connor likes."

Lester coughed into his tea, "You know Temple and I actually have very little in common. I hope that doesn't surprise you."

Abby shrugged and Lester sighed. Seems he was actually gonna have to do this then. Well he'd just look on the bright side. It'd be good practice for next time his daughter had questions and if his advice was good, well great. If it was bad, well, hey at least it wasn't his Katie's life he was messing up. He wasn't responsible for Abby here, and he was _not _going to feel guilty for thinking like that no matter how much he…did.

"I don't quite know what you want from me, Abby."

"I don't either," she admitted. "I just feel like, I dunno, Connor and I have lived together for so long, yeah. Why isn't anything happening with us? It's so… frustrating! 'Bout ten months ago he said he loved me, but then he denied it."

"What'd he do that for?"

"Deny it?"

Lester nodded.

She shrugged, "That's what I want to know! I know he said it. He was with Caroline at the time though, so that might be it. And that's another question. Why would he go out with her and not me? Was she prettier than me?"

"Can't say I ever saw her," Lester pointed out, and then thought twice of that answer and added, "but I'm sure she wasn't."

"Has Connor ever mentioned me? Does he talk about me?"

"Believe it or not, Abby, the rest of the team does not tend to discuss these sorts of personal matters with me."

She sighed and stared down into her mug dejectedly and Lester knew he had to do _something _before he ended up having to deal with tears.

"Look, Abby, I'm sure he likes you. He just doesn't talk to me about it."

"Then what do I do? Lester, what was it about your wife that made you notice her and ask her out? Because I'm having trouble getting him to pay me any attention at all."

"Well, now, let's see," he hesitated. "I think, I think it was her laugh that I noticed first. She's got a clear, lovely laugh and she was the only one who always understood my sarcasm and laughed at it. Sarcasm, my dear, is a very lost art form."

Abby smiled at the fondness in his voice. Now she was getting somewhere. "So I should quit rolling my eyes and laugh instead when he tells a joke?"

"It'd be a good start," he nodded. "Why don't you just ask Connor out? I hear that's rather acceptable these days."

"Honestly," Abby admitted, "I'm terrified. Connor's me best friend. I can't lose him, Lester. I need him. That's why I'm asking you. I can't risk one of these short term relationship things that end in a messy break up. If Connor and me are gonna get together, it _has _to last. Like you and Mrs. Lester."

"I see, yes I had noticed there's a strong fondness between you both." He really was rubbish at this. "Abby are you _sure _you're talking to the right person?"

"Who else do I have? I don't think I know anyone else who has made it work, my parents least of all."

Oh they were _not _going to start reminiscing about her past. Lester quickly changed the subject. "Spend time with him."

"I do. We work together; we live together. What else is there?"

"I didn't mean like that. What do you do at home? I bet you dollars to doughnuts he plays video games while you do, well, whatever it is you do."

"Kickboxing."

"Kickboxing then. Have you ever shown interest in his games?"

"I'm not interested in them. I think they're stupid."

"Hardly the point, Abby. They are important to him. If you show interest in things that are important to him, then he knows it's because you're interested _in _him."

"So I have to laugh at corny jokes and play video games?"

"It _is _Connor you're trying to win over. You picked him, not me."

He had a point.

"What if I show him I'm interested but he doesn't actually like me? What if things get awkward and I lose him?"

"I don't know Abby just… you know, follow your heart and all that."

"Very helpful, Lester."

"I'll do the sarcasm, Abby. It's not like I begged you to listen to me on the topic."

"You're right, sorry. I'm just scared and frustrated. Hey, do you think you could, you know, find out for me? If he's interested I mean?"

She was joking, right? This _had _to be a joke. Or a bad dream. Yes that was it. He'd wake up any minute and find he was in his comfy bed with the whiskey bottle on his nightstand. Or, if it wasn't a bad dream, maybe now would be a good time for an anomaly alert. Yes, he'd take one of those over this any day.

But the work mobile never rang and he didn't wake up and she sure the hell didn't look like she was joking as she stared at him pleadingly. No, he told himself, this was _never _going to happen, and this conversation had gone far enough.

* * *

"Connor?" Jenny said gently so as not to startle him from his work with the wires on the ADD. "Lester wants to see you in his office for a moment."

"What? Why? What'd I do this time?" Connor asked panicked.

Jenny shrugged, "I don't know, he just said to tell you."

Connor sighed and began the slow walk up the ramp. It seemed he was always getting in trouble for some reason or another, but usually he could figure out what it was about. He racked his brain and came up blank.

"Shut the door, Connor." Lester said as he entered the room.

Connor did so and Lester gestured toward the chair. He knew that this wasn't exactly what Abby had had in mind, but really, subtlety was _not _his thing and she should have known that. If she was going to come to him of all people and talk him into things like this, he was at least going to do them his way.

Connor sat, looking nervous and Lester cleared his throat. Before he could say anything though, Connor burst out, "Whatever I did, I'm sorry!"

Lester raised his eyebrows, somewhat amused.

"As far as I'm aware you haven't done anything wrong, at least not in the past hour or two. I actually wanted to talk to you about Abby."

"Abby?" Connor asked.

"Yes, you know, short blonde girl, lives with you, likes lizards."

"Oh _that _Abby," Connor retorted with a grin. "What about her?"

"Do you have the foggiest idea where she was last night?"

Connor hesitated, his brow furrowing as he tried to remember. Finally he shook his head. "No, I mean, I know she went out. I was playing me video games and she said 'Be back later, Con. Don't let Rex out.' But I can't think if she said where she went."

"Yes well, she came and visited me. Had tea at my flat."

Connor frowned. That was… odd to say the least. "Really? Did you invite her?"

"Hell no. Didn't have much say in the matter. Said I was the person she needed to talk to about her blasted love life. Me! Can you believe that? What the hell possessed her to come to me? Unfathomable. Really Connor you need to pay more attention to that girl so this sort of thing doesn't happen again."

"Her… her _love _life?" Connor whispered. Abby had a love life? How could he have missed that? A surge of jealousy shot through him at the thought.

"Yes, her love life. Wants to know if you love her or not."

Connor froze. "Me?"

"Yes, you, unless there's more than one video-gaming Connor? Told me to find out for her. She didn't say how so I may as well ask you point blank."

"It's really none of your business," Connor replied, not knowing if the correct answer, the one that would let him keep living with Abby, was yes or no.

"Finally some sense. I couldn't agree more. Would you mind telling her that?"

"What exactly did she say?"

Lester sighed, "Said you pay her no attention or something. Thinks maybe the problem is that she isn't as pretty as that ex of yours, the one that was working for Leek. Said she wanted you to ask her out, but only if she can be sure it'd last forever. Wants want me and Mrs. Lester have and said that if she can't get it she doesn't want to take the risk of losing you as a friend, she's pretty scared about that."

Connor's eyes bulged out of his head. "What you and Mrs. Lester have? She wants… she wants to marry me?"

"Well I wouldn't go proposing just this moment. "

"But she loves me?"

Lester sighed, "Look, you know what? I'm done with this. I think maybe you two better just talk to each other, I really do."

"Right," Connor nodded enthusiastically. "I'm on it. Er, maybe we could take an early lunch?"

Lester waved him aside, "Do whatever you have to then, just make sure she doesn't end up on my doorstep again tonight. I do have better things to do than to give advice to lovesick employees."

"Right," Connor repeated as he jumped up and scurried out of the room. Lester sighed and shook his head, a slight smile tugging at his mouth as he watched him leave.

* * *

"Er, Abs?" Connor asked as he approached her in the lab. Why hadn't he thought out what he was going to say first? Suddenly a billion ways that this good go wrong ran through his head. She was looking at him expectantly.

"Abby, uh, we have to, we have to have lunch now, and talk, at home."

A puzzled expression crossed her face. "What are you talking about, Connor?"

"Please, just come home with me? We'll talk there… okay?"

This was weird, and not the normal Connor type of weirdness either, and that fact alone made her nod in agreement.

They'd almost made it to the door when Jenny noticed them leaving. "Hey, were you in trouble?" she called to Connor, making him flinch.

He shook his head vehemently. "No, no, not this time."

Abby looked at him, "What's she talking about?"

"Nothing, Abby."

Jenny came closer, "Ah, so what was the private meeting with Lester about?"

"Nothing, private. Don't want to talk about it, do I?"

"You met with Lester?" Abby asked, wondering if the meeting had anything to do with his sudden strange behaviour. And then suddenly it hit her what that meeting had been about and she paled.

"Jenny, me and Abs have to leave now, for lunch, maybe more, yeah? Cleared with Lester. Call us if there's an alert."

Jenny shrugged and nodded, mumbling, "Strange," under her breath.

"C'mon Abby," Connor urged her again, but she stood frozen to the spot and he swore under his breath. He hadn't wanted her to know about the meeting yet. Abby was smart, she'd figure it out. "Abby, we have to go home, and talk, yeah?"

Finally she nodded and stepped forward again. She looked terrified, Connor noticed. Lester was right then, about the stuff he'd said.

She followed him to the car and handed him the keys and that was unusual too, she rarely let him drive. He knew why. She wouldn't be focusing on the road at the moment and she was trembling too much. Connor frowned. She didn't actually think he might reject her, did she?

He tried to lighten the mood a bit while he drove, after all, it was pretty obvious she knew what this was about now anyway. "You know, Abs, you're a little bit crazy. You went to _Lester?"_

"That's what he said too," she responded dryly.

He chuckled a bit as he pulled into the driveway. The moment they stepped into the house, Abby turned to him. "Are you going to leave me, Con?"

Connor shook his head, "'Course not, Abs. But I don't know what I'm doing, yeah? In a bit over me head here, aren't I?"

"What'd he tell you?"

"Bunch of stuff really. Mostly he said that if I want you it's gotta be forever, but I shouldn't propose yet. And that you think Caroline's prettier than you, but that's rubbish, Abby."

"I didn't figure he'd go and tell you all that. He shouldn't have really."

"I'm glad he did," Connor responded, taking her hand and pulling her onto the couch beside him. "What'd he say to you?"

"That I should laugh at your jokes and play video games with you and talk to anyone but him."

Connor chuckled, "I kinda wish I'd seen his face when you arrived actually."

"Yeah, but Connor, the talk, I need to know what you're thinking."

Connor nodded and swallowed nervously, though he didn't know why after everything that'd been said. "Abs, I'm 'bout as rubbish at this as Lester is at giving advice but…" he hesitated and squeezed her hand tighter in his, "But I'm not 'bout to let you down, either, Abby. I wish you knew that. Don't much like that you didn't, and I know that's my fault, not yours. See Abby, thing is, thing is I didn't really think you thought about me like that. Would've asked you out ages ago if I thought I had a chance."

"And now?"

"Yeah," he breathed, "yeah Abby, we can go out now. After work, k? We could go out for dinner tonight? I'll take you somewhere well posh and we'll dress up and go dancing afterwards and then…"

"Yes?" Abby asked, "Then what?" She was grinning at him now, her eyes shining with joy.

"And then I'll kiss you goodnight and drive you home and maybe if I'm really, really lucky you'll take Lester's advice and play Mario Party with me?"

Abby giggled, "Connor! Video games on a first date?! That's moving a bit fast don't you think?"

He wiggled his eyebrows at her teasingly, "Aww, c'mon Abs. It's entry level games, nothing complicated yet of course."

"Well, we'll see… but you better promise to love me forever if I'm going to agree to that."

"I promise," Connor replied easily, meeting her in a kiss.


End file.
